I love music, though not gifted with any musical abilities, I enjoy surrounding myself and the children with it and singing out of tune often. I figure God made me, on purpose, and wasn't looking the other way when He didn't give me an amazing voice. Maybe it was to have a greater appreciation for those who do (like a beloved friend of mine), or maybe to inspire other out of tuners to lift up their voices anyhow, " Make a joyful noise!". So I joyful noise I do make!
It is always the lyrics that make or break a song for me though. J.J Hellers "In the end" is a favorite of mine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-w4KLSEJUs
This a great song for this time in my life. My husband is working and planning and everyday I feel one day closer to the move. I feel like a pioneer, although I can be sure of running water and electricity in Hawaii, and I am not exactly going to homestead, I am leaving behind my life here. All of my belongings (except a few boxes I can ship UPS of pictures and memorabilia.. and my Bunn!) are being sold. I am leaving the best friends I have ever had and a wonderful church that I feel I belong in. My children have never even flown on a plane! Or been out of Alaska for that matter.
A million fears and worries crowd my mind. Will I be lonely? Will the bugs drive me crazy?! Am I crazy to leave our comfortable, prosperous life here? My husband has a good job. We have nice cars. We have a big house. I have a yard and a deck. A good neighborhood. I like all my furniture and went through alot of time and trouble picking it out! It IS beautiful here. And safe. We have put roots down here, Alaska and the people I love here will always be in my heart. And I hope we have lots of house guests!
It isn't so much about living "in paradise". But living the lifestyle I now desire. Simplicity. More time. Less stuff. Smaller house, more family time. Enjoying the creation year round. Learning new things, like surfing (for the children..C'mon now, you know I am NOT coordinated enough for that!) and the Ukulele. It's about warm days spent under the sun, and sandcastles, the small community, and slow pace.
"Safety is not for sale....You cannot buy peace of mind...earthly defenses fail... there is nothing new under the sky... build your Kingdom all your life..and say goodbye".
It is a risk. A big one. But I only have one life. I want to live it, in color, turned up as far as it will go. Bright and beautiful, peaceful. I felt so at home there, as though I already belonged. I am an island girl. I pray, and I wonder if this strong desire to go is because it IS God's will. Maybe it's a result of the long dark winters here. I believe that God gives you certain desires for a reason and maybe He has plans for me there. I am excited and afraid. I feel confident though. As though it is right. I know it will not be a big, long vacation. I don't expect that. I know there are downsides. But the same is true for everywhere. I know lots of people will think I am crazy. I know lots of people think we are foolish. But. Just maybe ... maybe its staying "safe" that is foolish. Maybe it's spending a lifetime working 9-5 to build your empire that is foolish. Maybe it is all Vanity. Maybe we will die in an earthquake or a hurricane or a giant tsunami. Maybe I'll get bitten by a poisonous spider and die a long, painful death. Death by spider. Ewwwww.! Maybe we will come back in a year, when our lease is up, and live in our house, and everyone will say "Told you so". That is Okay. Pride is vanity. And I am not building an empire. And Safety is not for sale." In the end", after my death by hurricane/tsunami/volcano/earthquake/spider. I'll be with Jesus and I will be the one to say "Told ya so".
It is always the lyrics that make or break a song for me though. J.J Hellers "In the end" is a favorite of mine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-w4KLSEJUs
This a great song for this time in my life. My husband is working and planning and everyday I feel one day closer to the move. I feel like a pioneer, although I can be sure of running water and electricity in Hawaii, and I am not exactly going to homestead, I am leaving behind my life here. All of my belongings (except a few boxes I can ship UPS of pictures and memorabilia.. and my Bunn!) are being sold. I am leaving the best friends I have ever had and a wonderful church that I feel I belong in. My children have never even flown on a plane! Or been out of Alaska for that matter.
A million fears and worries crowd my mind. Will I be lonely? Will the bugs drive me crazy?! Am I crazy to leave our comfortable, prosperous life here? My husband has a good job. We have nice cars. We have a big house. I have a yard and a deck. A good neighborhood. I like all my furniture and went through alot of time and trouble picking it out! It IS beautiful here. And safe. We have put roots down here, Alaska and the people I love here will always be in my heart. And I hope we have lots of house guests!
It isn't so much about living "in paradise". But living the lifestyle I now desire. Simplicity. More time. Less stuff. Smaller house, more family time. Enjoying the creation year round. Learning new things, like surfing (for the children..C'mon now, you know I am NOT coordinated enough for that!) and the Ukulele. It's about warm days spent under the sun, and sandcastles, the small community, and slow pace.
"Safety is not for sale....You cannot buy peace of mind...earthly defenses fail... there is nothing new under the sky... build your Kingdom all your life..and say goodbye".
It is a risk. A big one. But I only have one life. I want to live it, in color, turned up as far as it will go. Bright and beautiful, peaceful. I felt so at home there, as though I already belonged. I am an island girl. I pray, and I wonder if this strong desire to go is because it IS God's will. Maybe it's a result of the long dark winters here. I believe that God gives you certain desires for a reason and maybe He has plans for me there. I am excited and afraid. I feel confident though. As though it is right. I know it will not be a big, long vacation. I don't expect that. I know there are downsides. But the same is true for everywhere. I know lots of people will think I am crazy. I know lots of people think we are foolish. But. Just maybe ... maybe its staying "safe" that is foolish. Maybe it's spending a lifetime working 9-5 to build your empire that is foolish. Maybe it is all Vanity. Maybe we will die in an earthquake or a hurricane or a giant tsunami. Maybe I'll get bitten by a poisonous spider and die a long, painful death. Death by spider. Ewwwww.! Maybe we will come back in a year, when our lease is up, and live in our house, and everyone will say "Told you so". That is Okay. Pride is vanity. And I am not building an empire. And Safety is not for sale." In the end", after my death by hurricane/tsunami/volcano/earthquake/spider. I'll be with Jesus and I will be the one to say "Told ya so".
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